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Category: Inward

Choose Wisely

Our humanity consists of intimate experiences, beliefs and emotions to be cherished and closely held.

We choose daily to whom we will share them.

Choose wisely. Once released, they can never be retrieved.

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Seek Beauty

Van Gogh Museum (Hermitage Amsterdam) – by missusdoubleyou – Flickr

In one day, enough information is consumed by internet traffic to fill 168 million DVD’s.

But that doesn’t mean we know anything…

Frank Zappa said:

“Information is not knowledge. Knowledge is not wisdom. Wisdom is not truth. Truth is not beauty. Beauty is not love. Love is not music. Music is the best.”

A friend might recommend the perfect sunflower for my garden. If I share the link on Facebook, everyone will see the picture. But no one will see the flower. Hands need to turn soil, and seeds need to be planted, watered and tended for the beauty of a living flower to be experienced.

Sharing is only information. A flower is beauty.

Seek beauty.

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Becoming Like a Child

Korean Outdoor Fitness Equipment

I frequently teach in elementary music classrooms. This experience differs from being in a regular classroom because I get 30 minutes alone with many grades instead of spending an entire day with 5th graders or High School math students.

One of my favorite songs to teach Kindergarteners is “Eight Clay pigeons.” The kids line up single file on one side of the room and we sing together:

Eight Clay pigeons
Eight Clay pigeons
Eight Clay pigeons, sittin’ on a wall.

When we sing the last line, I announce with a surprised voice: “There goes another one, flying away!” and the first child flaps her arms and flies to the other side of the room. Then each takes their turn, “Seven clay pigeons… ” “Six clay pigeons…” etc. until everyone has had a chance to soar from one side of the room to the other.

I love watching their innocent play. They swoop, and swirl from one side to the other, devoid of self-consciousness. They proclaim with pride that there are only seven clay pigeons left when one of the original eight flies away.

I’d love to hold on to the child-ness of children. When I look at pictures of my young sons and daughters, I miss those little toddlers. But when I sit across the living room with them today as adults, I get to talk with them as equals, and revel in the young men and women they’ve become. If they stayed forever five, I wouldn’t get that experience.

One stage children go through as they grow is comparing themselves to each other. They begin placing each other in a pecking order of popularity and abilities. Some children are chosen first for the playground teams, while others are left to watch from the sidelines.

Jesus’ followers had the same problem. They believed Jesus was going to overthrow their Roman occupiers and take the throne of a new Israelite kingdom. As members of his inner circle, they assumed he would appoint them to high ranking positions in the court of his new kingdom. So they quarreled amongst themselves over who would get the highest positions in his new kingdom.

One day, after a long journey, Jesus and his disciples arrived at a house in Capernaum. As they were traveling Jesus overheard them talking about these things. Once they settled in he asked: “What were you talking about on the road?” They kept quiet, because they didn’t want to admit they had been arguing about which of them was the greatest.

Jesus called over a child from the home and stood him in the middle of the room and said to them:

“…unless you change and become like little children, you won’t even get into the kingdom of heaven. People who humble themselves like this child are the greatest in my kingdom.”

This sounded just as absurd to the disciples as it does to us. A government doesn’t just run itself. There is work to be done if you are going to rule people. It would be a place of honor, and responsibility to be on Jesus’ left or right making important decisions. They had their resumes prepared. Letters of recommendation. They had the qualifications.

Jesus took the wind out of their sails when he told them their posturing was useless. Childlikeness was the qualification he was looking for. The real action, he told them, was with Kindergartners flapping their arms across the room.

This makes no sense. Worldly affairs are not the place for children. They are kept safely on the sidelines. They can handle play money, but they don’t get to run our banks. They get toy guns to shoot pretend bears, but civilized people don’t give them assault rifles to kill their enemies. Children aren’t in-the-game. It’s the grown-ups’ job to strategize, scheme and fight.

Rest assured, Jesus isn’t handing the reins of this world over to the elementary school. He knew that children aren’t a perpetual class of human beings. The stork doesn’t bring a population of 5 year olds to this earth who stay eternally 5 year olds. Children grow, and mature until they become adults. They become you and me.

We are grown-up versions of the children we once were. My father-in-law has a sign in his living room that reads “Inside of every old person is a young person wondering what the hell happened.” Jesus’ message to his disciples was “When you grow up, you need to be like the child you once were. You have to remember that child inside you.”

Notice that Jesus did not give his followers instructions about how to be child-like. Children don’t have a job description. You don’t teach a child how to be a child. Imagine Jesus giving them this list.

  • Eat graham crackers at 11am.
  • Share your toys
  • Don’t take other kids’ toys.
  • Color inside the lines.

Being like a child simply means paying attention to children and then imitating them.

One way we to be child-like is to play. The last time my grandchildren visited I took them to McDonald’s to play on the plastic playground. As I watched them careen down the slides, I imagined adults would have fun on a grown-up version. McDonalds once constructed an adult play-land in Syndey Australia. But they only used it for a commercial, and only the extras were allowed to play in it. How unfortunate that grown-ups were never allowed to play on something constructed as a symbol of their child-likeness.

Being told to be more like a child is unsettling. Some childhood memories are unpleasant. Imitating children means opening ourselves up to the same vulnerabilities we had as children. Sometimes those vulnerabilities come from religious people. Parents would bring their children to Jesus so he could bless them. Jesus’ disciples once rebuked them for doing this. When he found out, he got angry and told them, “Don’t push these children away. Don’t ever get between them and me. These children are at the very center of life in the kingdom. Mark this: Unless you accept God’s kingdom in the simplicity of a child, you’ll never get in.” Then, gathering the children up in his arms, he laid his hands on them and blessed them.

Jesus is on the side of children. And if he is on the side of children, he is also on the side of child-like people. What can you do today to be more like a child? What risks might you be taking? How can knowing Jesus is on your side give you the courage to take those risks? I’d love to hear from you in the comments.

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Priesthood of the Baristas

Photo by Chevanon Photography from Pexels

I once had a discussion with a pastor regarding the question “How are you?” This informal greeting is friendly, but no one expects an honest answer. So we respond.. “Fine, thanks. How are you?” No one is asking for a rehearsal of our woes..

There are, however, places where I will actually share an honest answer. One is Starbucks. I have enough camaraderie with the baristas there that in those brief moments while making my drink, we will strike up a conversation and share little bits about our day. I won’t go into my financial problems, but I might say “I feel bleh.. it’s been a long day.”

The pastor I was talking with said that two types of people we feel safe making confession to about our lives are bartenders and hair stylists. These people work in what sociologists call a “Third place,” distinct from our work and homes. Who can forget the hearty “Norm!” in the TV show “Cheers” that epitomized the bar as a third place where “everybody knows your name.” When you walk in, all the stresses of life are put aside and replaced by friendships.

But then my pastor friend added an insight that is beyond the sociologists’ theories.

A “third place” can become a place for the giving and receiving of absolution.

Absolution is a word we don’t hear much, if at all. The definition is: “a formal release from guilt, obligation, or punishment.”

We are more familiar with the act that comes before it: Confession. We have commonly witnessed the confessional, either in a church, or on a TV show. There, the penitent sinner sits and confesses his sins to a priest. But what we don’t usually see is the absolution given at the end. Having confessed their sins to the priest, on behalf of God, they are proclaimed forgiven of their sins.

The pastor with whom I was having this conversation proclaims this absolution, or forgiveness of sins, over the members of their church every Sunday.

Almighty God in His infinite mercy, has given His Son to die for us and, for his sake forgives all our sins. As a servant of his Church, a fellow member of the priesthood we share by baptism into Christ, and by his authority, I therefore declare to you the entire forgiveness of all your sons, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. AMEN

It moves me every time. Sometimes my eyes get moist. Because even though I was raised in the church, and know that God has forgiven my sins, I forget. And as my sins pile up I begin to feel that I have gone beyond the point of grace. I’m not alone. Paul, a leader in the early church, wrote a letter to the church in Rome, confessing his own sins.

“For I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my flesh. For I want to do the good, but I cannot do it. a For I do not do the good I want, but I do the very evil I do not want!” (7:18)

But we are not left there. A disciple of Jesus named John wrote in a letter:

“But if we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous, forgiving us our sins and cleansing us from all unrighteousness.” (1John 1:9)

When a pastor proclaims absolution for our sins, he is not making it up. When we confess our sins, God will forgive us. So hearing it is a reminder of what John has already taught us. But I forget. And I need to be reminded. Every week. And I am in awe that looking at my life, a god would forgive me, and eternally grateful that God has.

There is one last thing to notice about this prayer: the pastor is proclaiming absolution as “a fellow member of the priesthood we share by baptism in Christ.” In some churches, you can only receive absolution from the priest. But, Peter another disciple of Jesus proclaimed that Christians are “being built up a spiritual house, a holy priesthood.” We are priests. And so, when we are talking to a barista, a bartender or a barber, it may be that they are also Christians. This becomes not simply an opportunity for confession. It can be a time of absolution as well. We need to be in the habit of reminding each other that our sins have been forgiven. Because we forget. We think our sins are too great for God’s grace. But they aren’t. We just need to be reminded.

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Memories are like tree rings

Annual Rings / Jahresringe – Christian Schnettelker

A few weeks ago my wife and I drove our sons to my parents so they could stay a few days while we attended a foster parent training. On the way, I decided to swing through my hometown and show the kids where we used to live, work, and play. We drove through the backroads where “The slow guy” would drive 15 mph, in his little Toyota pickup, often without a shirt, accompanied by his big black dog riding shotgun. We pointed out landmarks of our lives during their childhood, like Pheasant’s Orchard, and the field where we fed llamas.
No one knew it, but this was a big step for me. I was dipping my toes in healing waters. More than a few events took place there that haunt me today. I try to put them behind me, but my mind won’t let me. Each event is stored as a memory that can be recalled at the slightest trigger.

We had a wood stove in our basement meant to be used for heat. We never figured out how to use it without smoking the house out. But one year, in preparation for winter, we drove to our church camp to retrieve firewood. The campground had cut many trees to thin the forest and reduce the risk of fire.

One thing you notice when you look at the stump of a tree is rings that spread from the center to the edge. “How did they get there?” children ask when they first see them.
Tree rings are a record of events that take place in a year. One year might have excessive rain-fall while the next has a drought. Fire might ravage a forest this year and a plague of insects the next. Each event leaves a mark on the tree; a darker circle one year, and a lighter one the next. As long as the tree still lives, it will keeps growing, forming new rings recording the events of the new year.

Memories are a lot like tree rings. They mark in our mind events that happen from one season to the next. Some years are full of love and growth. Others include stagnation, trials, pain or heartbreak.

When I become fixated on troubling memories, I am learning to tell myself that they are only rings on a tree. Those events are part of me, just as rings are part of a tree. But if I fixate on them I am staring at a stump. That is not where life occurs. Like that tree, I am still growing, meeting new challenges. Life is to be lived now.

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“Fast” Food

FiletOFish-ad-600On your drive to work this morning, look closely and you might spot an Easter Egg hidden in plain sight. It won’t be a hard-boiled egg splashed with food coloring. Or a candy-filled plastic egg. These easter eggs are deep-fried breaded fish between two hamburger buns slathered with tartar sauce.

Every year towards the end of February, I point out to my family that Lent must be near because the fast food chains began displaying fish sandwiches on their reader boards.

Most people don’t know about Lent. It originates from the 2nd century practice of baptizing new members on Easter Sunday. In preparation, novices spent 40 days receiving instruction in the Bible, and a week of praying, fasting, and study culminating at Easter. Over time this practice extended to family, friends and the entire church community. It became traditional to fast during this time. It usually wasn’t a complete fast, often involving only meat.

Lent is a season the church pretty much has to itself. Christmas is shared with Santa Claus. Easter is paired with a bunny. But on Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent, Christians have black crosses on their foreheads. Comedian Mike Birbigula posted on Facebook: “Either it’s Ash Wednesday or a lot of people have been experimenting with calligraphy.” During the Lenten season, many Christians imitate the early church and fast. Some cut out meat. Others give up coffee, or TV.

Here’s where the fish sandwich comes in. In 1962, Lou Groen, a McDonald’s franchisee realized he was losing a lot of business during Lent. So he invented the Filet-O-Fish, knowing that his largely Catholic customer base was allowed to eat fish during Lent. It was a hit, and is now on menus all year. Ever since, the fish sandwich heralds the coming of Easter just as the pumpkin spice latte is the culinary signal that autumn has begun. It is the “Shamrock Shake” of Lent. Fast food became “fast” food.

It would have been unimaginable to the first Christians that people would profit from this season of spiritual devotion. They were imitating Jesus’ fast in the wilderness. When the devil tempted Jesus to break his fast with bread, he didn’t ask if it came with a side of fries and a cola. He declared to his tempter that life is more than food.

“We rely on words spoken by God Himself,” he said. “God humbled the Israelites, allowing them to go hungry, so He could feed them with a food they had never seen before.”

Jesus’ point was that our lives have meaning beyond food. Our lives have meaning when we come to Him in poverty and humility, relying on hearing God’s voice, in whatever form that takes.

When Jesus came out of the desert, he taught his disciples to fast like he did. Some people intentionally looked gloomy, and disfigured their faces when they fasted, so that everyone around them would know they were fasting.

“These hypocrites have their reward,” Jesus said. “But that’s not what you want. When you fast, shampoo your hair and wash your face so that the people around you don’t know you are fasting. Your Father will. And he’ll give you a reward far greater than those hypocrites’.”

McDonalds won’t instruct it’s employees to wear sackcloth and ashes for Lent. But they will certainly have their reward when they sell an estimated 25 million fish sandwiches. That’s not what we want. God’s reward for people who don’t draw attention to themselves when they fast will be far greater than a sesame seed bun. We will hear God’s word and be all the more alive. And be given riches that money can’t buy.

The stories of Jesus’ temptation in the desert and instructions for fasting are taken from the 4th and 6th chapters of Matthew’s account of his life.

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It’s time to hope again

“Without hope, you cannot start the day” – Jon Anderson

I gave up hope years ago. It followed a cascade of events that began when various people hurt me and my family both emotionally and spiritually. It continued as I struggled to find work and provide for my family and questioned God’s role in it all.

The problem, I’ve discovered, was that I based my hope on a high expectation of God’s miraculous work in those who choose to follow Him. But my hope was in what God does in others; not in me. Like many others, I believed that the issues in my life were insurmountable, even for God. So it was easier to have faith in God’s work in others than in His work in me. When I came face to face with people who hurtfully misrepresented him, my hope in God’s work was crushed. With that fatal blow, I was left with nothing.

This past Monday, a new woman joined our support group. When there are visitors, some of us take turns describing how the group has impacted our lives. It is common for certain long-standing members to be the ones who tell their story. As a result there is familiarity in what they share. But quite often, as they recite their story, something new will stand out and move me. On this Monday, the person sharing encouraged our visitor that through the group”…there is hope, when you begin to apply these steps to your life.” With those few words, a still small voice inside me said “It’s time for you to learn to hope again.” For the first time in all these years, I yielded to the voice.

“Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” (Hebrews 11:1)
Why could I hope again. As this Bible verse describes, I couldn’t see the evidence of faith or hope in my own life. But I could see real change in this group of people around me. That change didn’t come from some claim of a one-time miraculous cure. I’ve been cynical about those claims my whole life. Rather, as one of our books says…

“If it took time to get where we are today, we can’t expect to get better overnight. “Progress Not Perfection” reminds us that growth is not an event, but a process.” – Opening our hearts, Transforming our losses.

Every one of these people, empowered by God, works hard as they face the pain and habits of their life. This is no pollyanna cure-all. It is hard work. And it is work they are still doing. I realized, here was a place where I could find joy and peace through faith and hope, working side-by-side with other pilgrims.
“Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you believe in him, so that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” (Romans 15:13)

It’s time for me to have hope again. Or to have hope for hope. It is a step of faith, but I know from those around me that it is a step worth taking.

What about you? What does hope mean to you? Has your hope been dashed by a traumatic event? How have you handled it? Has something happened to cause you to hope again? Please share what’s on your mind in the comments.

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Just say no!

A few months ago, a picture taken of my daughter and I at her wedding smacked me upside the head. It was a side-view. I posted on her Facebook page “someone needs to tell the father of the bride he needs to lose some weight.”

I’ve never wanted to talk about attempting to lose weight, because I didn’t want to be a whiner when the pounds didn’t come off as expected. But as many of you know, I really don’t do a good job not talking about something that’s on my mind or in my life.

I began by trying some of the ideas in Tim Ferriss’s “Four hour body” book, with pretty good success.The diet is dubbed “slow carb.” The rules were pretty basic. Eat a mixture of super-vegetables like spinach, broccoli, cauliflower, sauerkraut to name a few, legumes and beans, and meat. Stay away from processed foods. And don’t drink your calories. I lost about 10 pounds, and at least 2 inches off that wedding-photo-belly.

But the success hasn’t been long-term. Every week I seem to lose about 5-10 pounds, but then regain it. Fortunately, I’m not doing the rebound people talk about, where you gain m-o-r-e than you lost. I’m not horribly discouraged, because I know I can lose weight. I’ve seen the evidence. And, I’ve started studying nutrition, so that I’m using a more balanced approach.

I’ve learned a powerful lesson about my body through this experience: my body doesn’t just crave food; it craves crap. I didn’t realize that my body wanted a certain amount of sugar every day because I never deprived it of it. I’ve heard people talk about sugar addiction, and I believe them. My doctor says that when you are hungry, your body will scream at you to go eat something with empty carbohydrates because it knows it can process it fast, give you a dopamine high, and can store the fat. A certain level of sugar is part of a healthy diet, though it should be primarily eaten in fruits and vegetables. What I’ve discovered is that as a result of food choices I’ve made my whole life, my body wants more sugar than it needs. And it’s being rather demanding when I don’t give it what it wants.

There is a life-lesson here. I had no idea my body wanted too much sugar until I deprived it of it. In the same way, many faults are so much a part of who we are that we don’t even know that they are there. It’s not until we start making choices to change that we notice them. When we discover them, it is time to go to work at addressing these issues. While in some cases God waves his magic wand and poof, all of our sin-cravings are gone, it’s my experience that it usually doesn’t work that way. Instead, we have to work at it, just as I have to work at my diet. And just like my diet, it’s often 2 steps forward and 1 step back.

It’s important to not give up. As I compare dieting to making life choices to turn away from sin, I see a principle at work. When I see that it is possible to lose 10 pounds, I have hope for myself, even when I rebound. But if I focus on the times of failure, I will give up, believing change is impossible. So, it is important that when we seek change in any sphere of our life, we pay more attention to the times of victory, even if they are only a week, or month at a time.

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The soundtrack of my life

Inspired by a book I was reading, called “The Happiness Advantage,” I decided to go through my iTunes library and create playlists of albums from different seasons of my life. This turns out to be a much different experience then starting a Pandora station with “Night Ranger.” Because, back then, we bought albums and <gasp> listened to the whole thing.

The more I go through my music with an ear towards what I was listening to at different times of my life, it evokes the sense of place during those times. I am transported back to the rooms I was in when I was listening to these albums.

In the mid 80’s, I listened to a lot of Keith Green, Kansas, Petra, Genesis and Prince in my bedroom (much to my mother’s chagrin.) In the late 80’s and early 90’s it was Van Halen, more Prince, Sting, and Chick Corea in my dorm room (much to the chagrin of my roommate.). In the mid 90’s, it was Van Halen, Arrested Development, Paul Simon, and Phil Keaggy, in my music room at our first house in Ephrata (to no one’s chagrin.)

But another thing I’ve done is to cull the stuff that I really liked. There’s a lot of music out there that I just played but really hasn’t stayed with me. Some albums brings back bad memories. Others, great memories.

It is remarkable how emotive music is.

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